Being Truthful To Me

One thing that’s bothering me and giving me sleepless nights. Since receiving the thorn in the flesh, I have been examining myself with regards to what I know, head knowledge versus what I am. Sad to say it but a lot of what I am does not match up to what I know. It is kind of hard to be truthful to myself and since bringing myself to my knees in prayer, I must say I do not like what I see. So much isn’t right and it is kind of depressing to discover how weak I really am. I must talking greek to you, just this one point, God has not given me a spirit of fear but of power, love and of a sound mind. Why is it then so much of what I do, responses and reactions has its’ roots in fear? A lot of what I do stems from insecurities and fear of the unknown, fear of the future.. see I am really not as steadfast as I often portray. I am making it a point to wait on the Lord that my spirit be strengthen and that I may know him personally. Lord have mercy on me.