Don't Regret It

Another good day of working. It feels good to sweat from physical work. Did some painting for the prophet the last two days. He left in the evening and I took the opportunity to do some fishing on my own as the sun was still up, after a few cast and bites I decided to call it a day. Took out my good old ‘parang’ and did some clearing work, chopping and slashing through the messy growth of tapioca and weeds. One hour of pure physical work and it felt good! Real Good!

 

Had a dream just the other night. Grandma appeared in my dream. She pass away while I was in Osaka for business in 1999. I remember as I was about to leave for the airport, I gave my eldest sis RM50 to get granny some diapers as she was bedridden, that was the last thing I did for her… sigh! I didn’t even take time to talk to her, something I’ll forever regret. When I got the news in my room in Osaka, I remembered feeling empty, hollow inside, my granny who has always been soft, gentle and motherly is gone and I am away in a foreign land on a buying trip. The following day was a holiday in Osaka so we were suppose to do some sightseeing, don’t know how I did it but I managed to go through the routine carrying the empty, sad feelings with me. Back to my dream, granny had a warm smile, that’s the only thing that I remember. Her smile… Got me thinking how we often spend so much time doing a lot of stuff that don’t matter much instead of spending time with our wife, our parents, our brothers and sisters… we just don’t have the time. We aren’t going to live forever, and with our current lifestyle I would say it is a risky journey to heaven if we are hoping to do all the family thing in heaven. I must make it a point to be blind to all the negativity and faults around me and focus on what I want to be, a blessing to those around me.

 

Felt a need tonight to ask for forgiveness from those whom I have wronged, those whom I have sinned against. Please forgive me if you happen to be one.